These thoughts are still in process and represent what the Spirit continues to teach me about singleness. I am not elevating singleness above marriage as the better option but merely as an opportunity to be embraced with purpose and fulfillment.
I am tempted to lean into the emptiness. The aloneness. The restlessness. The numbness. However, in these moments I have a choice. Instead of running away from these feelings in an attempt to ignore them, I can choose to run to Someone who can fill me, be with me, settle me, and provide peace to me. I seek Him to find importance in the inactivity, solace in the simple, and comfort in the calling – this calling of singleness which is not so much a lack of presence, but a shift in focus. It’s a calling to be single-minded where my sole affection is Jesus and my soul is surrendered. Mind, heart, will – all drawn to Him by Him.
Yet, the very thing meant to connect me with Jesus is what I allow to distract me and push me to disengage. My singleness. It’s something I want to be so proud of in my life. Something that communicates independence and strength, but often masks insecurity and vulnerability. Here, Jesus flips the script and invites me into the pain of singleness. In fact, He calls me. Because leaning into that pain actually points me to purpose. This calling of singleness invites me to voice my insecurities and express vulnerability, focusing my mind, heart, and soul on the One who gives beauty for ashes, strength for weakness, and peace for fear.
The calling of singleness is not to be content in being alone, although that’s on the surface. It’s a call to embrace the gentle invitation of safe surrender to One who desires my whole affection and presence. My singleness is not isolation. It’s not a vacuum of emptiness, even though that’s what my enemy tries to convince me. The truth is that my singleness is where I find wholeness in being wholly devoted to One who solely holds my affection. One who has single-handedly captivated me by his grace and loving pursuit.
Surrender is sacred and if accepting the call of singleness allows me to step into that freedom, may I never dismiss it as a season to be endured instead of an invitation to transform.
Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. 1 Corinthians 7:17 (ESV)
My Mind Vortex 