Lonely Love
Why do I keep longing for the tangible when I have the transformative? Why do I want a person who doesn’t want me instead of the One who chose me before the beginning of time? Why is it so hard to surrender this love I have when the One who loves me the most surrendered…
The One That Got Away
I don’t want you to be the one that got away. I don’t want to think about you every day wondering how life would be with you by my side. I don’t want to be stuck in an endless loop of loving and missing you. And yet, here we are. It’s been a full year…
Love Worth Fighting For
It’s both terrifying and therapeutic to process the journey of a broken heart on a blog, even if the audience is extremely minimal. However, it’s worth the risk because I know I am not the first or the last to be on this journey, and my words might just be the bonding moment needed for…
What is Pain Exposing?
Pain has a way of exposing the most hidden, buried, or unknown parts of us. In my pain, I have been pondering the question, “what is pain exposing in me?” It’s something I am only beginning to discover as being in the middle of the pain is often blinding. So far, in my excavation, I…
The Girl in the Window
One day they will say, “Oh, I remember her. She was the one in the window, the shadow of her silhouette sad as she stared intently in the distance, seemingly waiting for freedom or a breath of fresh air. It’s as if she was locked in a prison.” How did I become the girl in…
PAIN
Losing a person you love sucks. There are no eloquent words to sum up the awfulness of that reality. Sometimes the pain just hits like a ton of bricks. Or a crashing wave. Or a bullet to the chest. Out of nowhere, it sweeps in and knocks the wind out of you. If, in one…
The Past is Best to Come
Why am I so afraid that what I had in the past is the best of what I could have in the future? Why am I so content with discontentment? Why do I settle for something that clearly doesn’t satisfy? Why is fantasy familiar? I live in the dreams of the past, clinging to memories…
The End
The End. I hate this phrase. It’s the finality in the fact that there will be no more forward movement and all that’s left are memories. The End. It robs any chance for hope and humans thrive on hope. I thrive on the idea that just maybe the story isn’t over and it will take…
Reflecting God in my Feelings
I want to reflect God’s nature in my feelings. At least my mind tells me that. But, how do I do that when the feelings are not present? God is faithful, but what if any faithfulness I once felt is absent? God is holy, but what if my desire for holiness consistently ends in a…
With Beauty Comes Pain
I used to think this phrase was so dramatic and pessimistic. I used to believe it only applied to cosmetic and superficial beauty. However, life often provides experiences that mix the black and white into gray. Beliefs we held confidently tend to be grasped a little more loosely. With beauty comes pain. I can now…
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